If you’re looking to share a laugh during storytime, need a fun surprise for a pirate-themed party, or just want to sprinkle some humor into a regular afternoon, these jokes are sure to shiver your timbers and bring out the giggles. Grab your eye patch and let the pirate fun begin!
Pirate Jokes and Riddle Jokes
Get ready for a boatload of laughs with our collection of pirate jokes! Perfect for kids, these jokes are packed with fun, clean humor that will have everyone shouting “Arrr!” What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Robin Hook. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? P, because without it they’re irate. What has 12 legs, 12 arms, and 12 eyes? A dozen pirates. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of tea? Matey! What kind of ships do pirates find hard to maintain? Relationships! Why did the pirate go to art school? To learn how to draw treasure maps! What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Rum and bass. What’s a pirate’s favorite vegetable? Arrr-tichoke! What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s “R,” but it’s the “C”! Where do pirates get their hooks? At the second-hand store. What are the pirate’s worst enemies? Termites. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie? Chips Ahoy! What did the pirate say to the sailor? “Nice to sea you!” What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey! What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise? The plank! Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? He kept getting lost at C! How do pirates dispose of their trash? They throw it in the gaarrrrbage can. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie. What do you call a pirate with three eyes? Piiirate! What kind of grades does a pirate get in school? High seas! Why did the pirate want to get to the other side of the road? He wanted to go to the second-hand shop! What pirates should you avoid? Ones with red flags. What do you call first aid on a pirate ship? Sea pee arrrrr! Where do you find a pirate who has lost his peg legs? Right where ye left him. What do pirates say when they’re cold? “Shiver me timbers!” What is the pirate’s favorite part of a steak? The sea-soning. What did the first mate see down the toilet? The Captains log! What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish? A swordfish! Why did the pirate avoid playing cards? He didn’t want to lose his hand! Why did the pirate go to school? Because he wanted to improve his arrrr-ticulation. What’s a pirate’s favorite country? Aaarrrrghentina! What’s a pirate’s least favorite vegetable? Leeks! Where do pirates put their weapons? In their enemies. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr! Why do pirates love to download free music? It’s piracy. What happened when a pirate Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned. What do you call it when pirates plan to take over the ship? A conspira-sea! Where do pirates go to get their eyes checked? The aye doctor! Why do pirates carry swords? Because swords can’t walk. What’s a pirate’s favorite animal? The arrrrdvark! How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear. What’s a pirate’s favorite food? Baarrrrbeque ribs cooked on the deck! What is a pirate’s favorite body part? The booty! How did the pirate get his ship so cheap? He bought it on sail. Why was the pirate sad when his parrot left? It gave him the cold shoulder. What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate? One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy. What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved!
Pirate Puns
Set sail for a sea of laughs with our collection of pirate puns! These clever and playful puns are perfect for sharing a bit of pirate humor on gift tags, cards, or just for fun with your little buccaneers. Get ready for some “arr-rific” wordplay! This letter is to the one eye love. Retired pirates love yoga because of all the ex-sailing. Ahoy! You arrgghh the birthday boy! Girl pirates love to talk about their buoy friends. Nobody wanted to play cards with a pirate because he was standing on a deck. You can abso-loot-ly trust me with the treasure map. Have a rum-believable birthday! To become a pirate, one must learn how to sea things clearly. Also, check out our collection of shark jokes, fish puns and jokes as well as octopus jokes for more under-the-sea giggles.
